Day 21 - International Day of the Bottom

Day 21 – International Day of the Bottom

Just the other day (World Oceans Day, I think) I was remarking how
important it is to have days of appreciation for things that go
unappreciated the remaining 364 days of the year. Well, today it
occurred to me that there is an important date currently missing from
the calendar – the International Day of the Bottom.

There they are, doing one of the body's less glamorous jobs, day in, day
out, without complaint. And what thanks do they get for it? Precious
little.

In fact, I even lost my bottom for a while and barely noticed it. It
happened while I was rowing the Atlantic. A friend remarked, shortly
after my return, that he was going to send out a search party across the
ocean to try and find Roz's missing bottom. I found a full-length mirror
and sure enough, there it was gone. I'd lost so much weight it had all
but disappeared. I'd noticed I was having problems keeping my trousers
up, but other than that I hadn't even noticed. Out of sight is out of
mind.

In fact, we generally show our bottoms a disgraceful lack of respect.
Just because of their proximity to some of the human body's less
fragrant functions, they have become figures of fun. Or, if you're
British, embarrassment. This is reflected in our range of names for them
– from the euphemistic (posterior, derriere, backside) to the biological
(buttocks, gluteus maximus) to the colloquial (bum, ass, arse, tush,
sure-you-can-think-of-lots-more).

As with so many body parts, it's only when they are damaged or painful
that we pay them attention. (I am talking about appreciating one's own
bottom here, not other people's. That is another subject entirely.) As
the current possessor of a bottom as red as a baboon's, I am suddenly
very much more aware of, and grateful for, my generally neglected nether
regions. I am impatient for them to heal so I can get back to a full
rowing schedule.

So pour yourself a glass and let's drink a toast to tushes. Let's put
the fun back in fundament. Celebrate the beauty of buttocks. Appreciate
our asses.

Bottoms up!

[Note: this blog is in no way intended to be disrespectful towards World
Oceans Day, World Environment Day, etc. They are valuable dates in
bringing vital issues to general awareness and I fully support them in
every way.]

Other Stuff:

I've been enjoying listening to the fantasy books of Terry Goodkind
(great distraction from painful bum). But I'm having a problem with the
proper nouns, and I hope someone can help me. I can't make out many of
the names, or not with any degree of certainty. The hero – his first
name is Richard, but what is his last name. Rall? Raul? His two
henchwomen – Cara? What is she – a Mordsith? And Nikki? It certainly
sounds like Nikki, but this seems to be a name better befitting a
hairdresser than a Slave Queen and Sorceress. Richard's grandfather –
Zed? Zeb? And the villain – sounds like Jegang but I very much doubt
it's spelled that way. If anyone can help me out with these, plus names
of any witches, evil forces, and place names, I'd be most grateful.

And now I need to get this blog posted so I can go lie down again and
get my buttocks in the air. If only Nikki the hairdresser/sorceress
could come work some magic from the netherworld (!) and make my bum
better!

Weather report:

Position
Wind: 15-50kts ENE
Seas: 6ft ENE, quite choppy
Weather: some clouds, but still wicked hot

Weather forecast courtesy of weatherguy.com:

The easterly trade winds persist in the 20kt range. Seas 5-7ft.

Forecast below is for a SWerly course.
Date/Time HST Wind kts Seas (ft)
12/1800-18/0000 E-ENE 15-20 5-7

Sky conditions: Partly cloudy next few days. Isolated rainshowers but
higher chance than yesterday.